The Store

Merch you don't need.

From a company that shouldn't exist. Single purchase, no subscription, no handshake — the honest part of the catalog.

store-stickers A fan of six glossy die-cut Brawny Johvo stickers spread on a desk prompt → IMAGE_PROMPTS.md

Brawny Johvo sticker pack

Six die-cut vinyl stickers of a man who is very pretty. Dishwasher-safe; Brawny is not.

$12

store-pin A gold hard-enamel pin reading "hey there, pretty mama" with a tiny pompadour prompt → IMAGE_PROMPTS.md

"Hey there, pretty mama" enamel pin

Hard enamel, gold plating, the catchphrase. Wear it to standup and let them wonder.

$18

store-tee A cream t-shirt: "I handed my diff to a stranger and all I got was this code review" prompt → IMAGE_PROMPTS.md

"I handed my diff to a stranger" tee

…and all I got was this code review. Ringspun cotton. Brawny personally approves the fit.

$34

store-1080ti A dusty GTX 1080 Ti mounted in a wooden shadowbox with a brass DATACENTER plaque prompt → IMAGE_PROMPTS.md

1 of 1

DATACENTER (decommissioned)

The actual GTX 1080 Ti from our data center, mounted in a shadowbox with a little brass plaque. We have exactly one. When it is gone, the company has no infrastructure.

$249

store-review A typewritten code review on cream paper, signed with a flourish by Brawny prompt → IMAGE_PROMPTS.md

made to order

A hand-written Brawny-1 review

Send us a diff. A real human, pretending to be a model, types you a review in Brawny’s voice. Suitable for framing; unsuitable for production.

$99

store-vanity-key A glowing terminal showing req_yourname, framed like a luxury good prompt → IMAGE_PROMPTS.md

digital

Vanity request key

Name a request_key after yourself. Digital, instant, and does absolutely nothing. The purest product we sell.

Unlike the subscription, the store is meant to actually ship. Brawny insists on it — the man loves a fan.